How Shift: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don't Manage You Can Help Clients Charged with Drunk Driving in Michigan

I often like to share helpful new tools for my clients, and if I gain new insight from a book, I try to incorporate it into my approach with my clients.   Ethan Kross’s book, Shift: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don’t Manage You, provides a science-backed approach to handling the internal dialogue that can either help or hinder a person’s ability to move forward after a DUI charge in Michigan. Here’s how key insights from Shift can help individuals charged with drunk driving regain control of their emotions, their decisions, and ultimately, their lives.

Facing a drunk driving charge in Michigan is a stressful and emotionally overwhelming experience. Beyond the legal consequences—such as fines, license suspension, or even jail time—there’s often a deep sense of shame, regret, and fear about the future. Clients navigating this process need more than just legal representation; they need emotional resilience and practical tools to manage their thoughts effectively.


1. Reframing Self-Talk: From Self-Blame to Self-ReflectionOne of the most important takeaways from Shift is the concept of reframing negative self-talk. Many individuals facing a DUI charge struggle with harsh self-criticism, thinking thoughts like:

• I’m such a failure.
• I ruined my life.
• Everyone will judge me forever.

Kross explains that this kind of inner dialogue often fuels stress, anxiety, and hopelessness—leading to a downward spiral that makes it harder to make positive changes. Instead of destructive self-talk, clients can use distanced self-talk—addressing themselves by their own name or using “you” instead of “I.” For example:

• Natalie, you made a mistake, but you can take steps to fix this.
• You have a chance to learn from this and make better choices moving forward.

By shifting the internal dialogue from self-condemnation to self-reflection, clients can maintain a growth mindset, focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on failure.


2. Regaining Control Through Psychological DistanceA DUI charge often triggers intense emotions—shame, anger, frustration, and fear about potential consequences. Kross introduces the concept of psychological distance, which helps individuals step back from their emotions and view the situation more objectively.
For example, instead of feeling trapped in the immediate stress of a DUI charge, clients can ask themselves:

• How would I advise a close friend in this situation?
• How will I view this experience a year from now?
• What steps can I take to ensure this never happens again?

By gaining perspective, individuals can manage their emotions more effectively and make clearer decisions about their next steps, such as seeking legal counsel, attending a substance abuse evaluation, or making lifestyle changes.


3. Using Rituals to Reduce Anxiety and Build ConfidenceLegal proceedings in Michigan can be daunting, especially for first-time offenders. Court appearances, alcohol assessments, and dealing with attorneys can create ongoing stress. Kross explains that creating pre-performance rituals can help individuals feel more in control.


For someone facing a DUI charge, this could include:

• Practicing deep breathing before a court appearance.
• Writing down key points before speaking to a judge or lawyer.
• Engaging in regular physical activity to manage stress.

By establishing these rituals, clients can feel less overwhelmed by the legal process and approach their case with greater composure.


4. Understanding the Role of External Triggers
A DUI charge often serves as a wake-up call, prompting individuals to examine their relationship with alcohol. Kross’s research highlights the importance of recognizing external triggers—people, places, or emotions that influence behavior.
For clients who find themselves in situations where they are tempted to drink and drive, Shift can help them become more aware of their decision-making patterns. They can ask themselves:

• What situations increase my likelihood of drinking?
• Who are the people that influence my drinking habits?
• What can I do differently to avoid making this mistake again?

This type of self-awareness can help clients take proactive steps, such as arranging for alternative transportation, setting drinking limits, or even seeking professional counseling if needed.


5. Developing an Action Plan for the FutureThe final takeaway from Shift is that while emotions are powerful, they don’t have to control decision-making. Clients who have been charged with a DUI can use the book’s strategies to develop a forward-focused plan, including:

• Seeking legal advice and understanding their options in Michigan courts.
• Addressing any underlying issues related to alcohol use.
• Establishing healthier habits and coping mechanisms to manage stress.
• Creating a support network of family, friends, or professionals to stay accountable.

Conclusion: Moving Forward with a New Mindset​
A DUI charge can feel like a devastating setback, but it doesn’t have to define someone’s future. Shift provides practical tools to help individuals manage their emotions, regain control, and make positive changes in their lives. By applying the principles of self-talk, psychological distance, and emotional regulation, clients can not only navigate their legal challenges more effectively but also build resilience for the future.
For anyone facing a drunk driving charge in Michigan, shifting the internal conversation from self-blame to self-growth can make all the difference in creating a better path forward.